High Tea Hee Haw - 1845 Jiangnan, China
As rare as a Ming vase the High Tee Hee Haw when found will invariably be in the middle of the tea bushes quietly content testing the dunkability of its recent creations. A creature with only one goal in life, to create the perfect accompaniment to tea, this gentle giant heats water in it’s chamber sized body which is then mixed with tea leaves according to taste. No one really knows how the Hee Haw creates it’s biscuits but they are regarded as one of the greatest delicacies in the region. Tea pickers used to sit near this shy beast to benefit from it’s warmth during inclement periods until an incident involving scolding water and a chocolate digestive in 1799 put the Hee Haw out of favour.
Now it keeps itself to itself
but is easily spottable out in the open with its giveaway pink picnic blanket and
oversized cups and saucers which accompanies it everywhere. Charles, our
fearless explorer, used to his advantage as he tracked the creature through the
hills for two weeks in the Summer of 1845. Eventually he managed to sneak up on
the Hee Haw using a large Bourbon Cream as camouflage. Narrowly avoiding a
dunking himself Charles not only got this incredible painting but also returned
with armfuls of biscuits to wondrous applause from Victorian Society as the
pleasures of sugared dunkable treats were received with open arms and the
traditional high tea was born.
Following the expedition to China and in celebration of the High Tea Hee Haw several companies including Carrs, Huntley & Palmer, and Crawfords formed in 1850 to produce the new biscuits based on the samples Charles returned with, although no one could fathom out the ‘nice’ biscuit which was anything but as it systematically collapses when dunked in tea. For such a creature that pursued ultimate dunkability the inclusion of the word ‘nice’ on such a sponge of a biscuit unfortunately remains a mystery.